Being Bodies

The idea or effort for self-remembering or waking up seems to begin in the head -- the intellectual center. I have noticed that if the idea or practice stays in the head it isn't very stable. However, if we anchor this sense of being awake in the body via sensation (moving/instinctive center) then it becomes much deeper and more dynamic. This observation springs not only from my own experience but from what I have read about the practices of the Gurdjieff Foundation as well as other traditions.

This then points the way to another aspect of Gurdjieff's teaching which is as important as self remembering and that is self-observation. My understanding is that self-observation begins with distinguishing the work of the three levels of our being: intellectual, emotional, and moving/instinctive. Initially you practice just to be able to tell the difference between them. Later you shoot for getting a sense of the relationships between the three functional centers in dynamic life situations. I get the sense that it is almost like taking pictures of oneself. Once you have enough of these pictures you begin to understand your habitual mental/emotional/physical postures (egoplastikoori).

But what is the point of this really? Self-knowledge, sure, but to what end? This then brings us to the question of Aim or Wish. Why are we doing this? What is the goal? I think this is essential to the task. I think the answer is unique to each individual. I am still struggling to begin to integrate this. The Aim or Wish is "the big one".

For me the Aim that I defined was "To Be Free". It was very vague at first and only recently have I begun to try to understand what I mean by being free. For me the idea of being free has come to mean being able to control my actions. In fact the inability to control my actions was the reason that Gurdjieff (particularly In Search of the Miraculous) was such a revelation for me. This was a person who was talking about the world of people AS IT WAS. He was coming at it from a postion of observation and honesty and his conclusions were devastating and yet had the feel of Great Truth.

Another aspect of freedom that I have begun to think about is in relation to death. If we don't KNOW what will happen to us how can we ever be free? Obviously it is not possible to know the future absolutely but when it comes to death we don't even know the first thing. It is a great unknown. It is likely entering a wilderness with no preparation and no knowledge of the local flora and fauna. You might survive but if you had a bit of knowledge and training you might be able to do more than merely survive.

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It appears I have really started to blather in earnest. God help you!